It took a lot of practice. A LOT. You are asked a question, and you don't know how you feel so you say- let me think about it and I'll get back to you. I realized I now knew what to say, but I when I give my answer, what happens when that isn't the answer what is expected?
What if someone gets angry with me? Or doesn't agree? Or expected something else from me?
Here it is wrapped up in a nice package- none of those questions matter in my life anymore. Practicing the pause allows me to be sure of my answer before I give it. What I am saying has thought behind it so if someone doesn't like it, that's ok. We don't have to always agree, and everyone should have their own opinions. And I now have the confidence to live my life and never be embarrassed by my actions, thoughts or feelings because I don't speak or think from a quick, angry, or emotional spot.
The best thing that has come out of this was teaching my teenage son to practice the pause. I am very fortunate to have a child that doesn't like drama so it isn't often present, but that doesn't mean
being a teen is hard. I have been encouraging him for so long to practice the pause the HE NOW DOES IT HIMSELF! And, just like it did for me, it has taught him how to set boundaries. Do not have to worry about him being an adult who doesn't know how to set boundaries and I am here as he masters practicing the pause. I broke a vicious cycle in my family of screaming before thinking, which is how I was raised. And my parents were raised. My child isn't like that and that is what makes me the most happy inside. He is going to be different, and better.
I ask one thing of anyone who took time to read this- if it is not a practice in your life, would you please try it just once? or maybe twice?
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