I feel one of the most difficult growing steps we need to take is looking inside ourselves and finding flaws that we need to address. Once we hold ourselves accountable for these flaws, we need not just address them, we usually realize we need to change and fix these flaws. It isn't easy. It can be incredibly painful. It is hard to see yourself from another perspective and realize that you are doing things that make situations non workable, or possible hurting your future possibilities, or the worst- hurting people you love.
Once you place yourself on this journey and begin to identify issues, you then wonder how do I fix this? I hear so many people say- it is just who I am, take it or leave it. That was my motto, too. It is so easy. I now identify that I was using that phrase as a scapegoat. Because I thought I couldn't possibly be wrong. Why? Because I never slowed down and thought about what I was projecting. That this attitude was negative and would start a negative platform for me to build upon.
And that is where I found myself. I had and have a quick temper. I would say exactly what I am thinking at that moment and cannot wait one minute to say the words. I need to be heard. And it needs to be NOW! It took one meeting with peers one afternoon and someone says- let's "practice the pause" on this subject and meet again tomorrow and talk. Are you kidding me? This was important. I wasn't happy! I wanted a change, and I wanted it NOW. But it was already decided, and the meeting ended.
I was so angry. I began to think of all of the reasons everything happened, and I knew exactly what to do to fix it. But after an hour went by, I remember thinking to myself and wondering- was I being too judgmental about this particular situation? (OUCH) ' I AM NOT JUDGEMENTAL?! '
Or am I? And on that day, practicing the pause entered my life and changed everything.
If you identify with any of these issues, let's regroup tomorrow. Let's begin to wrap boundaries into this.....
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