The night of self-actualization had me awake thinking about a lot of items discussed at our meeting and I realized the more time I spent thinking of the task at hand, my perception had changed. The anger started going away, and I wasn't sure my thoughts were correct anymore.
Wow. Humbled. Embarrassed.
Here I thought I tapped into something new., only years later to find out that I did not come up with this magical power, it is spoken about a lot in Buddhism, and other religious practices. There is a Buddhist teacher, Tara Brach, who explains practicing the pause, also known as the Sacred Pause, - A moment of limbo, where you do not need to speak, fix, achieve, resist or run away - but simply watch.
And by working on this practice, I became the person I wanted to be. I wanted to be the person in the room who sat and listened and contemplated. I wanted to be the person in the room that others looked to for advice and information. I wanted to be the person in the room who didn't react. You heard me correctly. Didn't react, but was fully engaged and listening. I didn't want to be the loud person with a quick tongue, The person who would often speak before thinking, No more hurting someone with what I say because- I am who I am, or honestly ? -because I knew no other way.
At this same time in my life, I realized I did not know how to make a boundary. I was never taught. I was never taught it's OK to say no. It's OK to step back. It's OK if everybody's not happy with you. By practicing the pause with situations I freed myself from answering and thinking quickly, which allowed ME to decide what I wanted to do in a situation; not what others wanted from me. My new phrase became- Let me think about it and I'll get back to you.
Tomorrow , I hope by wrapping up this new way of thinking and giving some tips and examples, you will also find some peace. And maybe try to set some boundaries. Or, be proud of yourself that you already have this knowledge, and are already using it!!
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